THE WRITER MUST EAT -> patreon.com/trn1ty <-

| \    |   | blah!
|\ | `\|\  | the rantings and ravings
|/ |(_|| | * of a depraved lunatic

<^>

2024-07-25

: the resignation letter i wrote

2024-07-24

To [...] and all others concerned -
	this is my two week notice of resignation from my position of [...]
at [...]. My last day will be August 7, 2024.
	I appreciate the opportunities given to me as part of my work here;
particularly training in duties not previously known to me such as [...]. I am
taking a position at [...] as they are offering a set schedule with two
consecutive days off, higher pay, air conditioning, and are closer to my place
of residence. If I leave [...] I'll consider working at [...] again.
	Thank you for your time and employment.
	Deven Trinity Blake

: the text message i sent

2024-07-24

[23:26] hey [...], this is my two week notice. nothin terribly wrong, just
        found higher pay

: pre acid poetry

2024-??-??

I wasn't speaking French
I was speaking sailor
when I said "pardon my French"
I meant the Whaler
of a cuss I uttered
"microwave the bacon
drop a nuke on the station"
I also said "fuck"
get the situation?

I
the birds sing in the air
a fair harmony in treble clef
there are people milling around me
I'm beginning to think there's nothing left
every conversation is the same
man, isn't it good to be alive
I used to feel that way, but it's plain
to me they've been replaced by their eyes
pupils split by a collapsed iris
the back of their eyes gray clouds
iris collapsed by a yet unknown virus
I wear my Ray Bans year round

II
I've never seen someone who saw the same
upon grass so green, under a sky so blue
you'd think I wouldn't be the last to remain
I've shut myself in so my pupil's not two
inside my gray house so alone
an atonement for the sin of still living
I fear my sunglasses have cracked, the only ones I own
because I've been seeing double even in my prison

I
there's an island, far away
people visit on holiday
cats litter the streets and the shopkeeps smile
knowingly, refilling the feed every once in a while
ting-ting bells chime when a favorite appears
collared neck, very well-fed, and often of more years
the other cats shake in the wake of those peers
to whose opinion others listen and act upon what they hear

II
when long ago people called this island home
there was a man with a degree who could not leave life alone

I
recreational tracheotomy
how much will you lose. how fast will you bleed
you stole my hubcaps and my keys
let's see how quick I can amputate your knees
(mods, kill this man)     in the forest at night
(is that an AK?)          I hope the hunting's alright
(do you have a bandaid?)  shoot to kill and kill to eat
(hey, did you hear that?) take the chaf from the wheat

II
faux professional animosity
is it worth the pay? steel and golden teeth?
you stole away my deepest fears
now I don't quite know if anything scares me
(call my lawyer)        human complexes
(he might have a gun)   simple solutions
(call the police)       shoot to kill and kill to eat
(it can't happen to me) eliminate our honesty

you have problems with your self worth
you make five dollars in a dress and fifty in a skirt
but the money's not the issue
it's all those prying eyes cutting into you
cuz when the disco ball sends a beam of light through your skin
and the whole crowd gasps when they see your skeleton
and you look through the ceiling and know you've lost all hope
it's all for capital

television static's been in front of my eyes
every single second of my secondary life
I've been living so nonlinear babe I'm out my fucking mind
when you killed me for a dollar
did you haggle at the offer
or just couldn't then be bothered
to hold onto me any tighter
when you were strangling me tighter
did you want it to be over
or did you relish and feel sober
at the thought of causing torture

fac(n){//low up
	i = 1;
	while(++i < n)
		if(n/i == (int)(n/i))
			return [n] + fac(n/i);
	return [];//prime
}

fac(n){//high down
	i = n;
	while (--i > 1)
		if (n/i == (int)(n/i))
			return [n] + fac(n);
	return [];//prime
}

kill like you've never killed before this time
penta plus penta die like it's no crime
die like you've never died before this time
yet another sacrifice
have you ever given so much for so
little a result so subtle, why you don't know
have you ever seen so much hate in the
arms of those you idolize

I spent a year on an alien world
so similar to my own
I met fellow humans
and leaened to call this place home
it too had seasons
red, green, orange leaves
summer and winter
as the weather changed, it changed me
by the time I to go back left
all the friends I'd left were dead
and I keep running down dead ends
you know, you can't go home again

I
CHORUS
I said yes to a taste of Heaven
and was fed from a tube of love
I sank so far down into my skin
oh, what a wonderful drug
V1
"do you have a death wish"
I just came here for the scene
posers digging into me
like I don't get it
programmer by the day
push to mainline in the night
milliliters marked in gray
but we measure by the vibe

II
C
I said yes to a taste of Heaven
my "friends" say I've had enough
I can't party 'til it gets under my skin
God, what a powerful drug
V2
sometimes I feel
like a grenade without my pin
after the rave it's poisoning
my blood and I kneel
bowing down to the pain
in my bed spending the day
my toxic tongue and angered brain
I think next time I'll refrain

III
BRIDGE
oh, but I can't stop
feel it eating me alive
I wake and can't open my eyes
because it burns so much, the light
oh, but I won't stop
veins have swelled out of my arms
face's been shaped by all the harm
I've slept through all my alarms
CHORUS
I said yes to a taste of Heaven
and filled my cup with this horrible draught
I can't stop thinking about getting my next fix
then I'll party 'til I drop

I
when Louie died, he was 29
cried as he put the barrel to his head
for me to arrive and take down the two guys
surrounding him in a farm shed
when Paulie kicked the bucket
and hung from his girl's locket
I was at the market
oblivious to his end

II
me and my skeleton crew
the graves who I visit on holiday
I miss my youthful skeleton crew
and the lads I used to call
my friends

I
taxi driver driving
in a world driven mad
by compulsive consumption
A/B tested in a lab
all these kids on their phones
in the backseat of her cab
they say you ain't done nothing
if you ain't been called a red
Susan's comrades did something
they still worked to death
Susan met a man
in automotive automation

II
- self driving cards
trying to replace public transit
she hated his job
and when she drove he couldn't stand it
now, you might think such a relationship wouldn't last
but why book a cab when you have the Uber app?

: post acid poetry

ma ni li lukin pona
sina lukin pona
ma ni li ike tawa sijelo mi
sina li pona tawa lawa mi
tenpo ali la mi pilin lape
pali mi li yaki
sijelo mi li pilin yaki
tenpo ali la sina pona tawa mi
mi pilin pona tawa sina
sina pilin seme?

2024-07-25

now, we've all heard the story
of the dueler, toodle-oo
he'd draw his guns 'fore you could head "one"
and man, he'd toodle you
now, what they might not tell you is
'twass a lass named toodle-dee
who whipped out her pistol
faster'n the toot of a whistle
that brought him misery

now, down at There Saloon where Hugh was the bartender,
in waked Toodle-oo and Hugh said dude don't you dare do
but toodle-oo wanted to toodle you-know-who straight back to sender

<^>

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