THE WRITER MUST EAT -> patreon.com/trn1ty <-

| \    |   | blah!
|\ | `\|\  | the rantings and ravings
|/ |(_|| | * of a depraved lunatic

<^>

2024-05-16

I forgot my phone today. Oh well. I've decided I'm done smoking weed at work
for the moment. Sometimes one can be too silly. Bus fares cost me an arm and a
leg. $1.75/trip? 20mins of my labor a day goes to transportation, and it's
often not on time. I feel neutral about self harm but I love to taste my own
blood so I try not to cut too deep or too big so I don't leave scars for too
long. The weather today is sunny. I'm wearing a sweater. It's been nine months
since I arrived at the bus station here. I've changed significantly. I miss
M-- and Moxie and blueberries off the bush and excellent weed and fistfights.
Life was not very good but I miss the simplicity of it. I never have enough
money anymore. I'm always tired. I don't think I deserve happiness but even if
I did I don't think I could ever find it. Blah blah blah. It smells like
freshly cut grass here. I can use this computer while walking. Maid computing.

: more shit i wrote while high at work

are antimemes sigils?

I
in the tears of the crying red sun
dying of an affliction from which its rays run
yellow sweat dripping down from my brow
the pink sky is so hot so devoid of gray clouds
one is down but two to go said the witch
dressed in black in a hood staring down at the ground
where a corpse shivers a post mortem twitch
a brown tendril connecting its neck to a bough

II
in man's final days, babe, who knew
that hell would come to us and rob our skies of blue
my sepia pictures of you
burned with the rest of my house down on West Bellevue
one is down and two are to go
said the witch slipping the knot before hitting the switch
as to her final remarks I don't know
I couldn't hear past the sound of the sandbag's rope's slip

III
welcome to a hell with population one
the last two strung out and up into the sun
burnt as their lips turned to gray
I'm the last living soul, planning to go the same way
two are down and me to go
I've loved and lost but the cost was just so damn great
as I tie the last rope on the bough
I wonder if my memories will outlive my pain

Bonsai LSD
C: gcc musl
RS: rustc
Make: bmake gmake pdpmake
SH: dash (or BSD ash?) qi betta
core: bonsai coreutils
pkg: kiss &| pkgsrc
krn: linux
arch: i386 amd64 aarch64 riscv64
tcp: curl git ssh
wm: sway + xwayland
WiFi: iwd iwctl
DHCP: dhcpcd

                                            roll the
                                              taco
                                       _______   _______
                                      |  .-.  | |  .-.  |
                                      | (|||) | |->)|(<-|
                                      |__'-'__| |__'-'__|
                                          ^      _______
           BK FISH TACO                   |     |^ ____ |
                                          |     |||____||
                                          |     ||______|
  ____ /                      -|-         |
|\    /\                    -|-|-         |
 \\  /  \                 -|-|-|-         |
  \\/____\ --------->    | | | |          |
   /-----'                                |
  /   (1) halve_____________(2) dice______|____
           |                                   |
           |            *****    diced tomato  |
           |          ( ( ) ) )    lettuce     |
           |         ( ( ( ) )   diced fish    |
           |           __---,                  |
           |          :___--'    tartar sauce  |
           |       ____________                |
           |    ,-'            '-, tortilla 6" |
           |    '-.____________,-'             |
     (3)   |___________________________________|

: ant wars

When I was in like first or second grade, maybe younger, I was kept in a little
patio setup behind a building that did after school services for children whose
parents wanted as much time away from them as possible. We were all kept there,
little kids sitting in the sand trying to figure out a way to get out of the
sun but prohibited from sitting in the shade, and in the midst of our boredom
we noticed the ants at that daycare were quite large and would eat each other.
So what we did is we would get a couple ants together and had a points system
in place where the less limbs your ant had the more points it could get, and
its goal was to kill other ants that other kids had. We would grab them by
their legs and use our fingernails to rip their other limbs off while they
pawed at us begging to live, and then toss them in styrofoam cups that littered
our pen and watch them fight to the death.

    antennae                 (also pincers are over here; not removable UNLESS
                          you're only playing defense and expect the other ant
                                                                        to die)
LU  \ (__) /  RU   head  (not removable without death)
      -/\-
LM  --|  |--  RM  middle (removable but inevitably terminal)
      -\/-
LB   /    \   RB   rear  (removable; limits mobility significantly)

Ants are nicely modular; you can also glue pieces on, which is free, but most
ants don't really know how to use their shitty popsicle stick (also littered)
prosthetics. Termites were around but we didn't wanna use them because they
moved too fast and hid on you, bedbugs too.

<^>

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