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blah!

ideas with no tangibility;
ideas with irrelevant supports;
ideas without value;
ideas' witlessness;
ideas' witnesses;
ideas-

<^>

2024-02-26

Days since my last day off from work: 32.

It was 1900 and they were late by a little bit.

Mike: [They] stood you up.
3:    [They] did not stand me up.
Mike: [They] totally stood you up.

Eventually they showed up and we went over to the axe throwing range.
Conversation was slow because it's hard to talk when throwing the axe or
shuriken and it's hard to hear when a safe distance back in the gallery.

3:   I feel like this isn't really productive to conversation.
M--: Yeah, let's cut it short.

Then we sat in their Subaru Forrester and smoked some cigarettes (mine green
tea, theirs tobacco) while thinking.

M--: You know, it's kind of early. Do you wanna do something else?
3:   The only things to really do around here are axe throw and walk in the
     woods. Do you wanna go to Thorncraig?
M--: Sure.

Then we walked in the woods and discussed more things. We told each other a
couple things we hadn't told anyone else and despite meeting for the first time
in years (since New Year's 2020? or 2019?) and not really knowing why, I
trusted them quite a bit. I suggested we go to the woods and walk around alone
in the middle of the night and they weren't perturbed or anything so they
trusted me too.

Eventually we drove over to a McDonalds parking lot to continue talking.

3:   What do you wanna do next?
M--: Do you wanna go to Acadia?
3:   How far away is that?
M--: Like, three hours one way.
3:   Hmm. Sure.

We stopped at a gas station to get snacks for the trip and I got two flavors of
Chex Mix, regular and Honey Barbecue. I figured they'd like at least one and
I'd take the other.

M--: Actually I can only have the regular because the other one contains milk -
     I'm vegan.
3:   Oh, yeah.

I went back in and looked for vegan gas station foods. It was a lot harder than
I expected. Everything had milk or eggs. Eventually I found Drake's Apple Pies
and the purple bags of Doritos (Sweet Chili or something) and probably Oreos. I
also got a couple jugs of water for the trip.

Eventually we got to Acadia having scream sung most of Nothing But Thieves'
Broken Machine album together and a lot of 1000 gecs. Little did we know that
the green tea cigarettes had considerable amounts of caffeine in them and
that's why we weren't tired.

I miss M-- so fucking much. So much. Nobody hugs the same way they do. Nobody
headpats the same way. Nobody has the same smile. M--'s smile floods my brain
with endorphins somehow - it's so eager, enthusiastic, full of umami fun if
that makes sense. M--'s eyes smile as much as their mouth. They don't restrain
their grin. M--'s voice is smooth despite having slight rasp, an androgynous
pitch and the same speech patterns as Rainbow Dash. They have a crush on
someone I know and that person first described M--'s speech patterns as the
same as Rainbow Dash and later I told M-- that and they were embarrassed
because they didn't think Rainbow Dash really seemed like someone a person
would be into. This is after that person I know watched the Dawn Somewhere
Rainbow Dash "Oh Baby" video on repeat like a hundred times because they
thought it was really hot. Sorry to you two if you read this.

M-- deserves the world and I've failed to give it to them.

<^>

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