THE WRITER MUST EAT -> patreon.com/trn1ty <-
| \ | | blah!
|\ | `\|\ | the rantings and ravings
|/ |(_|| | * of a depraved lunatic
<^>
2023-10-29
Another journal, in its entirety
2023-09-??
TODO
TODAY
x WORK 1130-2000
x GRANDPARENTS
* PRACTICE Sx Sy ? S S S Sy S S S [I was practicing writing Ses to make my
handwriting look more like Ditko's]
* DOWNLOAD "PI"
* DOWNLOAD "TRINITY"
* DOWNLOAD "BARBIE"
* DOWNLOAD "OPPENHEIMER"
TOMORROW
x CLEAN [...]'S LAPTOPS
x REPACK + DECIDE WHAT GOES TO C.O.
* TEXT [...]?
LEWISTON
* MAIL [...] EDIBLES
x MAIL [...] LAPTOPS
x MAIL COLORADO
* MAKE SURE MAL'S OK
2023-09-30
x 2W NOTICE
2023-10-14
x LEAVE FOR [...]
LEWISTON
x FLIPPER x MODEM
x REPACK x BAG + BIVY
[...] x SD ADAPTER
MAL x CABLES
CALEB x SCOTT
GRANDPARENTS x GOIN POSTAL
[...] [...]
x [...] x [...]
x [...] ~~[...]~~
x ~~[...]~~ [...]
x [...]
2023年09月24日
Beginning to plot my way out of here...
I'm back because I was overencumbered. Now I've mostly repacked, not
enough to leave but enough to be mobile. I still have too much stuff.
Old socks stick to the bottom of your feet. Your soles meld with the
thread and ache from the dull torture. Old underwear's seams dig into you and
leave marks or acne on your ass. It's unavoidable.
The worst parts of homelessness are the lack of regular showers or
laundry. You can survie without regular showers. Your body stops stinking so
much, your hair stops being oily to compensate for your shampoo, your learn to
live without that feeling of dry freshness. But your clothes rot. Not your good
clothes, if you were smart enouugh to plan ahead and get a wool shirt and
sturdy pants, but the clothes you don't think about - socks, underwear, bras.
Cycling through articles only delays the inevitable.
"du" followed by 17 'h's. "Du"+17*"h"
2023-09-??
Looking at me ' up and down
thick left thigh, '' pupils blown out
I'm leaning onto brick and his pace changes tempo
- -- bitch keep walking \<
decelerates, ' my voice decrescendoes
VV I'll tear your neck open and piss in your windpipe
song of the city plays still and I \<
take out my bubble gum, my flavor's out \<
swallow, chew another, passing kid begins to
open his mouth
bitch keep walking ||
and the time goes by \<
leaning onto brick imagining piss in a windpipe
pneumonia \<
car ' after car ' after car \<
bitch keep walking '
butterfly knife in my pocket \<
no I do not have spare change \<
I don't open my wallet '
wish I was back in the office '
yes it's dark and damp but at least \<
there's free coffee '
bitch keep walking '
bitch keep walkking \< (don't stop) \<
anywhere other than here \< (there's nothing here) \<
I do not want to fight \<
but if I fight it'll be ^ (quick) \<
but if I fight then I will ^ (win)
->bitch keep walking<-
everyone packs heat but I pack nothing ''
how many will die ' for a fucking macguffin
t's so pointless but it's a check and my assignment ''
don't ask me again \<
bitch keep walking | ||
six foot three built like a bee
~~~~~~~~~~~
twelve large holes around my abdomen
~~~~~~~~~~~
can't touch me
my nest is rot infested
my head is shedding centipedes
call me Blowfly Girl
I want my pestilence degree
bee threesome
poly pollinators
2023-??-??
it's the end of the line
the line down the road
and I am so thirsty
and I'm so alone
my crimson elegy
falls to the floor
the blood isn't clotting
and I'm letting go
I've made my fair share
of crossings the street
and all for attention
but it never mattered to me
when I needed space
I was given so little
when I hit my rock bottom
you said it was the middle
and I walked the line
the line down the road
because I was so hungry
now I'm so alone
the rations were scarce
and the others hardly rational
I need unconditional love
but to you it's transactional
it's the end of the line
the line down the road
I used a rusty knife
I'm not worried about tetanus anymore
and I've formed a puddle
I'm curled in a ball
everything's uncomfortably sticky
but I'm not worried at all
and when one day they ask
if my passing was mourned
you better look them in the eye
and say you wish you caught the warnings
and the casket carriers marched
me from my rest to my grave
and I lay there lazily motionless
as you'd say, I slept too late
and now I'm late and they've formed a line
the line down the road
to witness my drained body
as I'm still, so alone
2023-??-??
one don't you touch me
don't you
don't you touch me
don't you
ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding
don't you fucking cross that line
dark avenue alley
three hundred year old
don't you fucking cross that line
I'm a Hollywood star
you ungreatful little
A-------------------
this night
is the last night
is the last night
I'm alone
there is no one
baby no one
I am the one
so alone
wretched
in my harbor
and my dark
dark avenue
and the needle
sewing needle
I'm your pillow
in you go
~~~~
don't you
fucking touch me
fucking touch me
warm pillow
don't you
fucking touch me
fucking touch me
warm ~~~~~ below
~~~
don't you
fucking hurt me
fucking hurt me
down below
don't you
fucking shoot me up
your loading
gun below
2023-??-??
I LIE HERE IN A POOL OF MYSELF
THE WATER IS COLD AND DROWNS THE NOISE OUT
I FOLLOWED THE LINE JUST TO GET HERE TODAY
NOW THE BLADE'S ON THE FLOOR AND I LINGER IN PAIN
I LIE HERE IN A POOL OF MYSELF
THE CHOIR IS FAINT AND THE SIRENS FADE OUT
IT'S THE END OF THE LINE AND SO DESPERATELY
I TRACED IT INTO THE FAINTLY BLUE VEIN
WHO KILLED ME? YOU KILLED ME
WHO PULLED THE YOU PULLED THE
TRIGGER AT NOON? TRIGGER AT NOON
WHO KILLED ME? YOU PUSHED ME
ANGELS BECKON ME INTO THIS HELL
INTO THE GLOOM BECKONING YOU TOO
IT'S SO MURKY IT'S SO MURKY
I'M RUNNING OUT OF TIME I'M RUNNING OUT OF TIME
TO KNOW WHODUNNIT TO SAY I'M SORRY
JUST TELL ME I'M NOT READY
PREACH MY FATE TOUCH MY FACE
AND HAIL TO THE SUN AND THEN SAY IT'S DONE
I LIE HERE IN A POOL OF MYSELVES
RECKLESS DICHOTOMY NEVER WORKED OUT
IT'S THE END OF THE SHOW AND THE CURTAINS COME DOWN
I'M THIRSTY BUT IT'S QUIET NOW
2023-10-23
panel 1: [person running], thinking: GOD DAMN NECESSARY EXERCISE
panel 2: [person in baseball cap behind other person, under a starry night]
panel 3: [person in baseball cap]: I WONDER HOW MUCH BLOOD THAT GUY HAS
panel 4: [x]
[5 legged cat cartoon]
[happy kitty cartoon]
2023-10-26
TEXT [...] [x] P.O. BOX [-]
V / | V
APPLY FOR JOBS [x] | I.D.
| V
[...]'S TIRE [ ] | MEDICAID
V PHOTOGRAPHY [x] |
PINEPHONE OS [ ] | [...] LUNCH [-] TOMORROW
| V
MOP [ ] CASH [x] \ LIBRARY
V V
[...] LIBRARY CARD
[...] 1072
[...]
1068
[...]
2023-10-??
P.O. BOX
|
'----> get proof of having
P.O. box
|
V
https://dmv.colorado.gov/documents
"Homeless applicants without a residential
address must provide a letter from
a government entity, or not-for-
profit organization with its letterhead
showing the facility's name, address,
and telephone number, including the
legal representative's name, signature,
and signature date. The letter must
state, 'will accept delivery of mail
for the customer.'"
2023-10-26
THURS 10-27
[...] lunch
FRI 10-28
SAT 10-29
[...] & [...] out for party afternoon/eve
SUN 10-30
2023-10-??
Emulsify, motherfucker!
-- Mx. Clean
2023-10-??
Deven Trinity Blake is currently
physically resident at
2023-10-??
PINEBUDS
_____ _____
| . . | | . . |
| . ._|_ _|_. . |
| / \ / \ |
|_L_\_*_/ \_*_/_R_|
TX RX TX RX
5V Gnd 5V Gnd
2023-10-??
[...] [...]
[...] [...]
<^>
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