THE WRITER MUST EAT -> patreon.com/trn1ty <-

| \    |   | blah!
|\ | `\|\  | the rantings and ravings
|/ |(_|| | * of a depraved lunatic

<^>

2023-10-08

An angel commits to sin...

I'm hallucinating, just a little. I think it's exhaustion. Everything is just a
little unreal.

Yesterday I had a cigarette. The day before I did too. That's four since
starting to quit.

Today I read Blood Stained Teeth #2-5 (2022). I've recently read The Vampyr
(1816), Tales to Astonish #1-2 (1958), #3-9 (1959), #10-17 (1960), #18-29
(1961), #30-41 (1962), Fantastic Four #1-3 (1961), #4-5 (1962), The Incredible
Hulk #1-4 (1962), V for Vendetta #1-6 (1988), #07-10 (1989), and the entirety
of Death Note. Oh, also Injection #1-5 (2015), #06-10 (2016), #10-15 (2017), No
Longer Human (2019), and some other stuff. Reading Alias Grace (1996) and quite
enjoying it.

I've been reading a lot lately. I have a lust for passive but self-paced
entertainment and adult-oriented comic books have been hitting the point
between candy for eyes and food for thought. Particularly V for Vendetta, which
has excellent and distinct artwork, and Blood Stained Teeth which is a visual
fever dream very different from but reminiscent of Panty and Stocking with
Garterbelt, an animation from Gainax. Art overflowing with passion.

I think Anarchism most closely resembles my political beliefs but I'm not sure.
I don't particularly care about labels but as a word-as-summary they are
useful. When someone falls in the mosh pit you help them up, there's no more to
it.

[...] has been discussing Zen Buddhism in [...] and it's fascinating, and not
quite what I had thought it was from pop culture education.

I've been learning Toki Pona passively and it is a very fun language.

I have my Raspberry Pi set up perfectly. Absolutely perfectly. This is my ideal
setup for a computer. It's such a shame that this is a temporary setup; it will
be replaced by my ClockworkPi uConsole when it comes ("this" being a CrowPi2
with the disadantage of not having a battery and thus being tethered either to
the wall (via AC adapter) or my power pack (via DC 5525 or whatever it is)
which can't injest power while delivering voltage out of the barrel jack
("power pack" being the Shargeek Storm2 or whatever it's called now).

I discovered strerror(3) recently and my life has become a lot easier.

Fight or flight? I flap my angel wings and am spirited away.

I talked to Usagi for the first time in a while. I was so weird to her. So
weird. And she is still my friend. I was so weird and she has no problem with
it whatsoever. Acceptance is so rare.

Yesterday I wanted to die. Today I am ready to accept death should it happen to
me, but I will do what I can to prevent it. I don't think I'll ever fear death
but I don't long for it when I'm doing decently. Yesterday I was not doing
decently. I have been cold and nervous for a long while now and have not known
genuine safety since August. My body is in fight or flight mode and has been
for a while. I am less a rabbit and more a hare.

I've been using Chimera Linux and absolutely love it.

<^>

No rights reserved, all rights exercised, rights turned to lefts, left in this
corner of the web.