THE WRITER MUST EAT -> patreon.com/trn1ty <-

| \    |   | blah!
|\ | `\|\  | the rantings and ravings
|/ |(_|| | * of a depraved lunatic

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2023-07-21

2019? 2020?

: the usual situation in eurasia, from a distance
	say thanks to my wife for making this meal
	she toiled all day cooked this supper with zeal
	and we feast and we feast and we eat with the wars
	on tv movie screen pictring blood and al gore
	turn that goddamn thing off i can't hear jamie talk
	dad wait please we lost greece now they're storming iraq
	say thanks to the machines they are filling the screen
	fighting proxy wars over capital regimes
	no more deaths no more fights only systems tonight
	will be killed hard drives milled turned into bits and bytes
	there's a person onscreen they aren't real let them be
	shredded hair collarbone now the drones go take rome
	dad agrees history will be written by 3
	but now's not the time turn it off o k fine
: Waiting for your return
	I found,
	and shot,
	your dog that sat at the door to your luxury condo
	waiting for your return.
	He was old
	wizened
	gray, thin hair on his back
	and I felt bad doing it
	but I wanted to see your face
	your reaction
	your black short hair shine in the setting sun
	as you had read my neat handwriting on college ruled paper
	"Turn around"
	pinned by one red tack to your dead dog's ear
	and as you turned you put your hand to your thigh
	where sat a holstered pistol
	far too late to lift your arm or pull the trigger
	before I put a nine millimeter round
	in your forehead
	heart
	and left kneecap (for good measure)
	and watched you collapse on your newly tarred driveway
	and watched your blood drip out your head and torso and leg
	and drip down onto the hot, black surface,
	and watched the blood make that interesting splatter.
	It's too bad
	that your dog had to die this way
	before he died I gave him a nice steak I picked up on the drive over
	a small steak, maybe a half-dollar's size
	but nice nevertheless and better than any food you'd ever given him
	and I took him to your living room and he and I sat on your couch and
	he sat his head on my lap
	and I shed a tear
	I always shed a tear
	for the souls I take (I only took one that day).
	I am sorry
	your dog had to die this way
	but it was a better death than could be had
	in that airless, sterile condo
	and one your dog was happy to receive
	pressing his head against my silencer.
: Autumn
	The best thing my parents ever did for me was neglect to raise me,
	because if they raised me I'd surely be an even worse person.
	They seem to hate me, and I do too,
	but it's odd that they seem to be under the illusion that they did
	raise me. Because then wouldn't it be their fault
	that I turned out like this?
: TempleOS
	hey davis terry a temple codin every day
	jesus christ on systemd
	fading through reality
	modern 64 bit fight
	commodore and kilobytes
	glowing hard and nothing more
	switch statements power in C
	user programmed commodore
	small town train fatality
	hey terry whyd you leave us so many mysteries
	we don't understand your code
	insane man or god, who knows?
	how could one guy ever make a
	self hosting OS ISO
: In a sky without a sun
	there are a bunch of people falling from the sky
	including me
	and if you maneuver your arms a bit
		against the pressure of a forceless wind
		that is so powerful in the absence of a sun, or stars,
			or planet
	you can look up and see It
			it has a face but its face will make you vomit in the \
				air that is passing by you
			it's best not to think about it or try to comprehend it
				see tony over there
					no, to your left
						yeah, there
				and how his face is white as a sheet?
					illuminated, clearly visible in a \
						world without light
				he Understood it
			it has eyes but we don't know how something so big
			could have anything to see
/
			it has a mouth but no teeth, or maybe teeth, maybe we \
				could see 
	its teeth if so much blood wasn't falling out of it
	fortunately newton's laws still apply
		it's falling at the same rate we are
		you'll never have to touch it
	but there is no ground on which we can land, and be freed from this \
		life
		no way out
			but to Understand
	so what do we do
		sheila and i play tic tac toe, we can keep the squares in our head
/
	i prefer to maneuver myself to face away from the thing in the sky
	because if i squint a little bit
	it looks like me

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