THE WRITER MUST EAT -> patreon.com/trn1ty <-
| \ | | blah!
|\ | `\|\ | the rantings and ravings
|/ |(_|| | * of a depraved lunatic
<^>
2023-07-20
2023-07-10
[2:13 PM] [...]: Hey what happened you don't bk no more???
[2:18 PM] trinity: what happened is u owe me $80 and i will never see u
again after august 20 so i need that money pronto
[2:18 PM] trinity: where can i meet u for it
[2:18 PM] trinity: i walked out cuz i decided fuck it we ball
[2:18 PM] [...]: Why?
[2:19 PM] [...]: You leaving?
[2:19 PM] [...]: Maine
[2:19 PM] trinity: august 20 i'm moving on from maine
[2:19 PM] [...]: Ah
[2:19 PM] [...]: Noice
[2:19 PM] [...]: Where you off too?
[2:19 PM] [...]: Random or picked place?
[2:19 PM] trinity: colorado
[2:20 PM] trinity: but if i find a cool town i'm just gonna live there
instead
[2:21 PM] trinity: btw if u know any quick work i need money
[2:23 PM] trinity: within walking distance of blake st. i'm down as long
as it's not me getting fucked
[2:23 PM] [...]: Ah well I don't blame you honestly I wanna do similar
things and just kinda go around every where and go
where life takes me but I'll lyk about any work if I
find any
[2:24 PM] [...]: My plan is next year after my birthday I'm getting in
my car and driving and not looking back for a awhile
Sent SMS to ??? ([...]) at 2023-07-07T14:25:54-0400:
this is trinity btw
hey [...], i just walked out. [...]'s gonna need coverage for 11-6ish tomorrow.
i think the way [...] talks to me isn't appropriate considering what i
contributed in terms of labor. if you want i can work at lisbon st from now on,
i can make it on time and for whatever shifts they want. i've been working at
bk main st nearly a year and before that it had been another and i think my
time there has now come to an end
i didn't walk out out of anger but a realization that the things i want to be
changed won't be and even if i made it through today tomorrow (a saturday on
main st) would be as bad if not worse, and the same thing would happen week
after week. i'm planning on moving to colorado and will be in late august or so
with no plans as to what i'll be doing there when i arrive
until then, i'm at lisbon st when you need me, if you need me. if not i'll
start looking for different work tonight. i like burger king but i don't like
being understaffed and micromanaged when i came in to a poor kitchen setup in
the first place.
i already texted [...] and told him if he's the night manager kim would
appreciate it if he came in early. i'm not super sure if that was the right
move but i know he can text whomever it may concern
thanks
2023-07-06
[6:38 PM] trinity: [...]
[6:38 PM] trinity: i wanna move to [...]
[6:38 PM] trinity: Eventually. like end of year maybe
[6:39 PM] trinity: first of all is that cool with u. cuz it's ur turf. i'm
the crazy bitch u know on the internet who's slightly
unstable and notoriously abrasive. if ur like what no
what the fuck that is a fair reaction
[6:40 PM] [...]: i would love it if you moved here
[6:40 PM] [...]: we could smoke together
[6:40 PM] [...]: legal weed :3
[6:41 PM] trinity: i'm bored of maine. i like it but the people can be
dangerous and the wild can be dangerous and although
it's an honest place it can be a cruel place
[6:41 PM] trinity: oh i missed u typing
[6:42 PM] [...]: Colorado is nice
[6:42 PM] [...]: but the big city is scary a little bit
[6:42 PM] [...]: im just a country girl
[6:44 PM] trinity: weed is legal here too. and i too am meh on cities. but
i need to never be recognized again by anyone with
which i went to high school and i know 4 good people in
this state and the rest are somewhere between neutral
and evil once ive gotten to know them
[6:45 PM] trinity: i know u a little, i know [...] a little, i know how to
sleep outside and live out of a backpack, and i know
burger king kitchens like the back of my hand. so i'm
fine wherever and [...] seems kinda fuckin swag
[6:47 PM] trinity: that makes 2 decent people 0 known bad people and 1 big
metropolitan area to explore
[6:47 PM] trinity: could i receive mail where u guys are while i get a new
id and then po box?
[6:49 PM] trinity: if not thats fine ill figure it out
[6:51 PM] [...]: yea thats fine
[6:51 PM] [...]: awa
[6:52 PM] [...]: we could put you up
[6:52 PM] trinity: up?
[6:52 PM] [...]: like you could crash here
[6:52 PM] [...]: lol
[6:52 PM] trinity: nah i prefer to sleep in nature or abandoned areas
[6:53 PM] [...]: based
[6:53 PM] trinity: colorado will be difficult because snow. but i can
figure it out
[6:53 PM] [...]: it also feels about 10° colder than it is due to the air
thinness
[6:54 PM] trinity: damn
[6:54 PM] [...]: it has gotten up to 34°C here and i still havent had to wear
shorts
[6:55 PM] trinity: i just need to be free. from stuff from being known and
from existing on so much paper
[6:55 PM] [...]: yea
[6:55 PM] [...]: good luck
[6:55 PM] [...]: i feel that
[6:57 PM] trinity: i've been stagnant for the last nearly 2 years and i
have barely any friends and recently a friend of mine
turned out to be totally wacked out and now i have 2
friends less than in january and i barely was friends
with anyone in the first place
[6:58 PM] trinity: which would be fine but bumfuck nowhere maine doesn't
exactly have a strong people that exist demographic
[7:01 PM] trinity: that's my rant ive been thinkin bout this at work
[7:01 PM] [...]: yea
[7:02 PM] [...]: ily
[7:03 PM] trinity: i love you too
[7:03 PM] [...]: you could definitely find friends here
[7:03 PM] [...]: its a big city
[7:03 PM] [...]: and people are really friendly
[7:03 PM] [...]: its like it was in the midwest
[7:03 PM] [...]: but bigger
[7:04 PM] trinity: i mostly wanna know fewer bad people
[7:04 PM] [...]: i get that
[7:04 PM] [...]: its hard sometimes especially when you stumble into a
friend group that has some people you feel are being
wacky but you cant say anything really cause youre new
[7:04 PM] [...]: at least that has happened to me
[7:05 PM] trinity: lead in the water and drugs in the streets. everyone i
know has been abused brutally and takes their rage out
by abusing others. it's like a mosh pit of cruelty.
even people i know that are intent on breaking their
cycle still don't. maybe i'm one of them but maybe if
i'm no longer surrounded by bad i'll be less bad
[7:05 PM] trinity: not even good drugs just crack coke and opioids
[7:07 PM] [...]: circumstances are important
[7:07 PM] [...]: material conditions
2019-10-10
Bridge English
Gatsby Journal #2 (Journal #3)
I don’t know if I can relate to Gatsby. I’m sure I have an ego that I’m
not aware of (but that everyone else is) - but I guess I’ll probably
know if I was like him when I age out of this stage of my life. I used
to make YouTube videos, a while ago, and for a couple weeks when I
started out I was trying to play a character in front of the camera
because I felt people would like me more. I don’t think there’s an easy
way to say it, but, hell, nobody liked me anyway, and I decided that
I’d be as genuine as possible - but for a time I guess there was a
disconnect between how people saw me and who I was. It probably wasn’t
a lot of people, though. My videos averaged fifty or so views. But it
was enough to scare me straight. It’s dangerous to pretend to be
someone who you aren’t, because you begin to lose sight of who you are.
I don’t see myself as “destined” for something in my life, either. I’ll
probably get a degree in Computer Science a couple years after I
graduate high school but after that I have no plans. My opinion is that
Lewiston, Maine, is a curse rather than a destiny. I know very few
people who have left this city, even after planning to, and I know very
many people who wish to leave every single day. Maybe by the nature of
where I live (and I’d say you, too, but teaching is a respectable job
and you don’t live in Lewiston anyway) I’m “destined” to get a minimum
wage job and become a puppet for the bourgeoisie until I die. Maybe the
only reason I feel this is cynicism; after you live in the same place
for a majority of your life, you come to hate it, no matter where it
is. But, hey, y’know, life keeps on tripping.
This journal was kinda a downer and I don’t really have a good ending for it so
here’s a picture of a dog to cheer you up. This is the companion of a
guy I follow on Twitter, her name is Akina.
[picture of Akina]
oh also before you go all “wow people don’t like deven that’s crazy” dude it’s
actually awesome i can do whatever i want and nobody cares, plus i
actually know who my real friends are. life is poppin’. having four or
five good friends really is way better than having twenty or so lame
friends.
<^>
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