THE WRITER MUST EAT -> patreon.com/trn1ty <-

| \    |   | blah!
|\ | `\|\  | the rantings and ravings
|/ |(_|| | * of a depraved lunatic

<^>

2023-01-09

	1000 lines since the last Ted story?

	Minerva and Ron sat silent in the car. Ron focused on driving while
Minerva frowned at the horizon.
	"We should have stayed there and made sure he got help."
	"Help? What help is there for him? It's a miracle he didn't end up
killing anyone. I know it's my 'duty' as manager to make sure the store's safe
but the guys'll fill in everything for the cops and EMTs and Ted'll get put
away in a place where he can't do more harm. That was a traumatic event,
Minerva. I want something to take the edge off and I wanna forget the fire and
Ted ever happened."
	Minerva looked at the steering weel. "That's not a healthy coping
mechanism, you know."
	Ron stared into the horizon. "Oh, fuck off. If you thought any
differently than I did you wouldn't have gotten in the car." They started to
accelerate.

	Ted had been watching the second building burn that day for probably
half an hour before he heard footsteps in the brush behind him. "You rat
bastard!"
	Ted turned around to find a police officer with his gun already drawn.
"Oh. Hi. Are cops allowed to swear?"
	The officer's hands' tremble was slight but visible. "Ted."
	Ted read the officer's name tag. "Jack?"
	"Tom. Tom Jack. You were at my brother's Christmas party."
	Ted remembered a Tally Jack with which he worked. Tally invited Ted to
his Christmas party about three months prior and Ted at the time regretted
showing up. Being beaten with blessings and suffocated by songs playing in
background commercials. Every present had a logo and everybody already knew the
brands. Ted was the odd one out, as usual. "Tom."
	"How could you? You could have killed all of your co-workers - why burn
down the office? You could have killed my brother." Tom's voice quivered.
	Ted tilted his head and thought for a moment. "Nobody died. Would have
been cooler if they all did, yeah." He smiled softly.
	Officer Jack, now angry, gripped his gun with both hands. "I could
arrest you, and the judge would give you a sentence, but that wouldn't be
justice. If you got out you'd just do this again, wouldn't you?" Ted nodded.
"Me killing you right now is justice. To Hell with the consequences."
	Ted stood and watched the officer staring into his eyes but only
reciprocated in the same way a doll or teddy bear makes eye contact. Without
presence.
	"So." Tom exhaled. "Goodbye." Tom braced for Ted's reaction.
	There was none. Tom squared his soldiers. "Okay."
	Ted finally reacted. "Car."
	"What?" And then it hit Tom with all two tons of force; an ambulance
driven under the influence. Its brakes squealed but the tires couldn't catch
the dry grass and the ambulance sucked Tom under where he was run over by all
four wheels before being spit out on the other side ten seconds from death and
with his top ten most vital organs all perforated in one way or another. "Man."
	Ted watched the light leave Tom's eyes as the ambulance driver
staggared out of the vehicle. Tom in terms of presentation wasn't too gruesome,
though death did have somewhat of an effect on his composure. It struck Ted as
a boring dead body.
	The driver put his hands on the sides of his head. "Oh man, oh man, oh
man..." Ted was surprised he hadn't been the one hit but then remembered he
didn't care, and that the ambulance driver wasn't on fire.
	"Can you hold still for a second?"
	The driver paused and looked at Ted. "...What?"

	Arson Ted is my favorite character.

<^>

No rights reserved, all rights exercised, rights turned to lefts, left in this
corner of the web.