THE WRITER MUST EAT -> patreon.com/trn1ty <-

| \    |   | blah!
|\ | `\|\  | the rantings and ravings
|/ |(_|| | * of a depraved lunatic

<^>

2022-11-01

	Georgio handed me a stack of Benjamins. "Count them."
	I did. Five thousand yuu-ess-dee.
	"We'll never speak of this again." And so we didn't. I walked over to
the gas station and bought a Twinkie for zero point one per cent (five yuu-ess
-dee) of one man's life, and then hailed a cab for which I payed zero point two
per cent (ten dollars) of one man's life, or you could say one man's life is
worth five hundred taxi rides, or a thousand Twinkies, or you could say Harry
died so I could eat a Twinkie and ride this taxi and smoke this cigarette and
do this all without the cloud of debt hanging over me, clawing at my shoulders,
digging at my thoughts, eating at my brain.
	When I got to my apartment, or room, I should say, it being one
singular room with some cubicle dividers up for the toilet in the corner, that
houses myself, my wife, and our two kids, products of a poor education and even
poorer knowledge of birth control, and teenagers who didn't know what they were
doing in the back of a car one night, and my Twinkie wrapper, which I threw
away, but which my wife still saw, my wife hit me with an open palm, swore at
me, told me how could I, kill an innocent man for a Twinkie and a cigarette,
forgetting the car ride and our childrens' full bellies.
	I've forgotten the meaning of life, or, a life, besides a number, five
thousand yuu-ess-dee, 5000USD, a box on a spreadsheet on my bank record next to
a box marked "Inheritance". A life is, to my wife, worth a lifetime, of
memories of Christmases and New Years and Thanksgivings and birthdays, of kind
words and kind gifts and long hours at the mill, worth more than any finite,
tangible amount of money, somehow, forgetting the car ride and our childrens'
full bellies.

	I wonder if I'll remember the pattern the tiles make on the floor of
the bathroom at my workplace. Distinct yet unimportant.

	I went to a clinic today and got free Narcan, which is pretty swag, but
I don't know how to administer it, so that's not pretty swag. But they're
sending me instructions so that'll be groovy as fuck.

	I'm developing a fairly sharp wit which is pretty cool because my
comeback game is as the kids say lit AF; literally and financially [awesome].

	One of the Monster Cereals makes your poop blue, but I don't know
which. Maybe all of them?

<^>

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